Family Photo
by Diane Clifford
Summary: One shot. Andy gets a new camera, and Mr Potatohead is less than willing to join in the fun.


**This is a little oneshot I discovered in my fanfic folder when I was backing up my files today. It was untitled, unfinished, and I dont honestly think I had a direction with it originally. **

**Also, it's nice to write for some different characters every so often!**

* * *

_"Oooooh!"_

It seemed to be the little green aliens' favourite word, and it was, to put it bluntly, annoying the bejeezus out of Mr Potatohead. Wherever he went, whatever he did, he knew the three aliens wouldn't be far behind. They followed him everywhere like leeches, and he was tired of it now. Cries of "will you just leave me ALONE?" could be regularly heard throughout the playroom every day.

Mrs Potatohead, on the other hand, loved 'her boys' fiercely. It was the autumn after the big daring rescue from Al's Toy Barn, and she enjoyed pulling the alien's head antennae into shape every morning – as she had done since she had first laid eyes on them. She called them adorable every day, and the love and commitment she lavished on them knew no bounds.

Hence why it seemed funny that they should follow Mr Potatohead everywhere. He had no time for their ooh's and ahh's and wonderings about the world outside of the Pizza Planet truck. He wanted to get on with his life, play with his friends, spend time with his wife, and they were constantly getting in the way. Sometimes he wanted to remove his ears and hide them so he didn't have to put up with them talking to him. Of course Mrs Potatohead frowned on this, so he didn't. He wanted to keep her as sweet (potato) as he could.

* * *

One day however, Andy ran into the room clutching a new box. He unpacked it gleefully, plastic wrap and pieces of paper flying all over his desk. Some of the plastic floated to the floor, where it lay in a small pile, untouched and forgotten about.

From the box Andy pulled a black instrument of some kind. With another shout of joy he rummaged through the muddle of things on the desk and retrieved a folded piece of paper and some odd shaped batteries.

As the boy flopped onto the bed to figure out the new item, Woody peeped out from the toy box, where all Andy's remaining toys had been relegated to. He recognised the item instantly – he remembered Al using one very similar. It appeared to be a Polaroid camera.

Andy was loading the batteries and film into the camera, reading from the paper besides him as to how to do it right. Finally he sat up and looked around.

"What should I take a picture of?" he mused aloud. The moment was shattered as from downstairs his mother began to call.

"Just a minute, Mom," Andy called back, putting the camera down on the desk and leaving the room quickly. When he was gone, all the toys stretched, and started to get out of the box. Woody ran towards the desk eagerly. Hamm was up there looking over the new product, given that he always sat up there anyway.

"Polaroid I-two-three-six, twelve megapixels." He announced to Woody as he drew closer.

"Hey Woody, what didya find?" Jessie called, "Whatcha run off for so quickly?" She scaled the desk just behind her companion and came over too.

"A camera, remember, like the one Al had?" Woody said with an excited look on his face.

"But not just any camera," Hamm pointed out, reading from the manual. "The I-two-three-six is everything you love about photography, in a different way. It comprises a flash setting, four image settings and gives a perfect picture every time." The china pig broke off and looked up. "Wow, they really glammed it up. It's a box with a flash for pity's sake."

"Any idea how to actually use the darn thing?" Woody questioned, attempting to read over Hamm's shoulder.

"Well, there should be a button someplace." Hamm said slowly, poring over the manual contents rigorously.

"How 'bout this one?" Jessie had stepped over to the back of the camera and her finger was hovering over the top of it.

"Looks about right," Woody observed, just as Jessie hit the button.

The press activated the camera as it was meant to, complete with a blinding flash. Several of the toys below, stunned by the brightness, fell over in alarm. In the next instant the camera produced a piece of film. Jessie picked it up and turned it over.

"It's blank," she complained.

"Wait, Jessie," Woody said, taking it from her, and waving it in the air. "Let it dry." He placed it back on the table and in front of them swam a rapidly developing picture of Jessie's legs.

Jessie shrieked with laughter. "That's so funny!"

"Hey, Woody, can I have a turn!" Rex asked, picking himself out from under the bed where he'd jumped for safety.

"Looks like fun," Slinky agreed from nearby

"Eh, yeah count me in," Hamm added.

"Okay, you guys all wait here. Jessie's the photographer." Woody said, and turned to scale down the side of the desk. On hitting the floor again, he ran into Buzz.

"Where you going, Cowboy?" Buzz asked, a puzzled expression on his face. It wasn't like Woody to shy away from adventure.

"To get Bo, of course. Not going to pass up getting a picture with her!" Woody said with a smile and a sly look crossing his face as he spoke again. "You should get one with Jessie."

Buzz blinked and then stammered in response. "O…oh….ah…..no…I…I don't think s….so….Jessie's the ph..photographer. She c…can't photograph herself, right? Haha."

Woody grinned at his stammering friend, then shrugged and ran off to find Bo Peep so she could join in the activity.

Meanwhile Mrs Potato Head turned to her husband. "How about a picture, my big strong spud?" She asked, and Mr Potato Head grinned.

"Certainly, let me shave," he agreed, popping off his moustache, and Mrs Potatohead clapped her plastic hands together in glee.

"Good, I'll go get the boys."

"The boys?" Mr Potatohead groaned inwardly. "Can't we just have this one thing for ourselves?"

"But they're our family!" Mrs Potatohead argued back.

"All the other toys are our family," Mr Potatohead sighed.

"But they saved our lives. Be nice," the Mrs chided him.

"No. I'm not going to keep being reminded of that. It's bad enough they live with us and we have to put up with them every single day." Mr Potatohead grumbled, forgetting to mind his words.

Mrs Potatohead gasped. "You take that back right now!"

Mr Potatohead threw up his hands. "Fine. You get the boys. Have your photo taken. But leave me out of it." He turned and walked away, as Mrs Potatohead shouted after him angrily.

"Fine, I will then! You ungrateful spud!"

* * *

That was now three months ago. In that time they had been donated, ended up at Sunnyside, been put through terrible times in the Caterpillar room, escaped a mad strawberry scented bear, and Mr Potatohead still had nightmares about the sandbox. Then of course, the incinerator had changed everything overnight. They all went from fearing for their lives, to accepting and cherishing what they already had.

As he steered his wife along to near the desk, Mr Potatohead took a moment to think it all over. They were in a little girl's room. Bonnie, as they knew her.

"Dear, where are you taking me?" Mrs Potatohead asked, in the nasally tones the male potato loved to hear.

"I'm er….just taking you to see the view out of the window," he adlibbed, to which Mrs Potatohead smiled brightly.

"Oh, you sweet spud! You know how much I love to gaze out of the window! I'm so lucky to have you," she babbled on as they scaled the desk and made it to the top.

At the end of their climb Mr Potatohead hauled himself onto the level surface and turned to help his wife up the rest of the way. There, standing before them, were the three aliens, and Bonnie's pink digital camera.

"My boys!" Mrs Potatohead smiled so widely her lips were in danger of falling off.

"I thought I might surprise you with something," Mr Potatohead bustled over to the camera and swung the viewfinder around so he could see what he was taking a picture of. "Hamm tells me this is the Swirl Twist camera, with 4 times the normal zoom ratio, 7.1 megapixels, face detection, and is the easy choice for any amateur photographer."

"My, aren't you a smart potato," Mrs Potatohead beamed again, watching her husband. "Are we going to be taking pictures of the garden then?" She grasped her husbands forearm, and he looked around at her.

"Not at all, my little sweet potato. I think, after all these three aliens have done for us, we need a family photo, don't you agree?"

Mrs Potatohead clapped her hands over her mouth, unable to hide her surprise, "But you told me months ago that you…" She glanced at the three aliens, who were watching them, and thought better of what she was about to repeat.

"Never mind what I said.." Mr Potatohead said firmly. "_Our boys_ saved us all. We wouldn't even be standing here having this discussion if it wasn't for them."

The female spud threw her arms around her husband. "Oh my dear, sweet spud, you called them _our _boys!" She couldn't contain her happiness any longer, and kissed him gently on his plastic mouth, before turning back to the three green toys nearby.

"Come on boys. Gather around - we're finally going to have a photo altogether!" She grasped each one of them, pushing them into place so they were lined up at the front of the photo, and Mr Potatohead set the camera on its timer. Quickly he jogged back over, standing on the left of the photo behind the aliens with his wife, and wrapped a arm around her.

"Oooh!" came the chorus from the aliens, as the flash clicked and the photo was taken.

On viewing it back a few moments later, Mrs Potatohead broke into delighted giggles. For the alien's little springy antennae, which she groomed so lovingly straight every morning, were obscuring both her husband and herself from view.

**But she got her family photo, and that was the end of that.**


End file.
